I have always taken the approach of teaching people to fish so that they can eat for a lifetime.
This is my default and preferred approach.
Yet, like many great sounding ideas, it can break down when context is not considered.
Imagine asking someone to fish when they can hardly raise their hands because they are exhausted, overwhelmed, or mentally depleted.
In that instance, imagine me handing them a fishing rod, it might not only be ineffective, but it might also even be harmful and negatively impact our relationship.
Should I invest my time and energy into something that simply won’t work at that time?
Might I make the people feel even worse because I am suggesting a certain expectation that they simply don’t have the capacity for?
I will suggest something that might be unpopular and even some might think is a bad idea, I’ll say, in that instance, the most empathetic thing to do is to just give them the fish.
I am not saying this is what must happen forever and become the default, only in extreme cases.
One way you may know this is a possible avenue is when you see people have continued periods of fluctuating capacity over extended periods of time.
Yes, ideally people can learn, grow and stretch, yet not necessarily when they are struggling to get through a normal day.
This is when leadership needs to be able to read the room and be flexible and support.
In my experience, there is a time to teach, coach and yes, there is a time to provide more directly.
If someone is at risk of burnout, emotional strain, or overload, the leader’s role needs to shift.
Stability is required first.
The leader may need to give what is needed so that recovery can take place so that learning can happen eventually.
In my experience, when I have needed to do this, it did not create dependency, it built trust.
And trust is what makes people open to learning how to fish when they have the capacity and it is possible.